10 Great Insults, That Don’t Sound Offensive

Sometimes it’s necessary to take someone down a peg or two, and you don’t want to sound overly-offensive, you want to use a little nuance with it.  There’s a thread online where people are talking about their favorite insults that don’t sound offensive.  Here are our 10 favorites . . .

1.  “What an odd thing to say aloud.”

2.  “That sounds like something you’d say.”

3.  “I admire how you don’t let your limitations affect your confidence.”

4.  “It’s impossible to underestimate you.”

5.  (This is a bit more poetic . . .)  “Wisdom has been chasing you, but you have always been faster.”

6.  “I just sigh, and say, ‘Oh sweetie.'”  Or the Southern classic:  “Bless your heart.”

7.  “You are all mouth but no trousers.”

8.  “Oh, now I see what everyone’s talking about.”

9.  “I admire your enthusiasm.”

10.  “Your teacher always handed your tests back face-down, didn’t she?”

(You can find more, here.)

(Speaking of teachers, I also really like this clever “common denominator” one.  “When my students would come to me and say they can’t find a group to work with because they don’t get along with students A, B, C, and so on, I’d say ‘What is the common denominator of your problems?’  “And it was the complaining student – THEY were the problem.”)