Toxic positivity is defined as dysfunctional emotional management where you never acknowledge feelings like anger, or sadness. In practice, it’s the act of dismissing someone’s negative opinion by suggesting a positive one instead.
Here are some examples:
1. When something bad happens, like you lost your job, and people keep saying, “Just stay positive”. Those thoughts, while often meant to be kind, can come off as dismissive.
2. Let’s say you lost a big game, or didn’t do as well as you wanted to, and someone says, “Everything happens for a reason.” What if the reason is, “I just sucked tonight.”
3. Or if a friend is sad, and you tell them that “happiness is a choice.” Oh, great now it’s my fault, too? Adding guilt into the equation doesn’t help anyone.
So, you might wonder, what’s the difference between toxic positivity and optimism?
Optimism is defined as hopefulness and confidence about future events. Toxic positivity is telling others they should be optimistic, too. People going through something don’t need to feel like they’re being judged if they’re having an off day.
It isn’t realistic to be happy all the time. Instead use the mantra: “It’s okay, to not be okay.”
(Toxic positivity can be especially bad at work. Do you know a co-worker like this?)
